My parents retired to Spain 20 years ago. Brexit is stopping me caring for them

Published on July 20, 2026

My parents retired to Spain 20 years ago. Brexit is stopping me caring for them

Retiring to the Costa del Sol to spend your final years in the Spanish sun has long been a dream cherished by many Brits.

Ten years on from Brexit, the strict rules now governing UK visitors are making it a living nightmare for some families.

An ageing cohort of British expats, struggling to manage their health, are finding that their families are blocked from moving over or spending more time in Spain to take care of them due to the end of freedom of movement.

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The children of these retirees are now facing a much more difficult prospect of being able to care for their elderly parents.

No family carer visa available

Spain’s resident British population is the largest in the EU, with official Spanish government data estimating 300,000 now live in the country.

The number of over-75s in this group grew from 36,000 in 2016 to over 51,000 at the start of last year, according to Spanish data seen by Reuters.

Marion Skinner, 81, moved to Playa Flamenca on the Costa Blanca in 2006, where she now lives with her husband John Skinner, 86, who has dementia.

Her daughter Donna Maddox, 57, would like to be able to spend more time in Spain to help her mum out, but is restricted to the 90 days out of 180 she is legally allowed to spend in the country post-Brexit.

SEI 303129243 — Donna Maddox, 57, says her mother Marion, 81, (right) has become so used to Spain that she wouldn’t ‘last five minutes’ in the UK

“They are both mentally struggling with the dementia, and she’s not getting any sort of respite from it being on her own all the time,” Donna told The i Paper. “She cannot leave him for any length of time.”

Donna works as a live-in carer herself and uses most of her breaks to visit her mum, but she isn’t eligible to move to Spain to work because the criteria for family reunification visas are so specific.

She said: “They’re able-bodied and without there being consultants’ letters and real medical problems per se, I don’t think you’ve got a chance in hell.”

‘What happens if I use all my time up?’

Donna is meticulous about keeping track of the 90 days she can spend in Spain every six months, saying: “It’s even down to what flight you book, you begrudge getting on an evening flight landing at 10 o’clock because that counts as a day.”

Her mother had bronchitis last week, and she didn’t fly out to visit her because she “couldn’t justify” using up the days in case something more serious happened later in the year.

“The worrying thing for me is if I’ve used all my time up, what happens when they really do need my need my help?” she said. “If they’ve had a fall or whatever, and I have to say: ‘Well, I’m sorry, I can’t come over because I’ve used all my time up?’”

Donna says her mother has become so used to Spain that she wouldn’t “last five minutes” in the UK.

Families expected to chip in

Sally Myburgh, who runs a Facebook group with over 50,000 members offering advice to British expats in Spain, thinks the care situation is “one of the worst things” about post-Brexit life in Spain.

Benalmadena beach during winter, sunny warm day idyllic scenery. Costa Del Sol, Malaga province, Spain — The Costa del Sol is sunny year-round, attracting British retirees who want to escape the cold (Photo: Alex Tihonov/Getty)

She says this is made worse by the fact that the Spanish care system is designed for families to help, with even hospitals expecting that they take part in the care.

“In the national health system here, someone in your family is expected to be there 24/7. They are expected to feed you, wash you, take you to the toilet, take your clothes home and wash them – everything,” she said.

The UK Government website warns expats in Spain that “families are generally expected to provide social care”.

‘No other route’

Myburgh thinks the system, as it stands, is forcing people to take desperate measures. She knows of expats’ children who have overstayed their visas illegally to nurse their parents who are dying of cancer.

“People are being forced into a situation of overstaying because it’s the only route left to them,” she said. “But even that’s not a route for someone with dementia, because that can take decades.”

Another Brit, The i Paper spoke to, living in Cortegada, had to bring her daughter over from the UK at the last minute on a tourist visa to care for her mother, 85, who kept having falls.

They are now in the process of trying to get the daughter a work visa so she can stay, but she would have to return to the UK to apply, which she can’t do because that would leave the grandmother alone, leaving them stranded.

“I think there should be a lot more flexibility as who is considered a dependent, so people would know they could call on a niece or a granddaughter if they need to,” said this expat.

Talks between the UK and the EU to negotiate a “reset” are due to take place this summer, though the issue of visas for family carers is not due to come up.

A spokesperson for the Cabinet Office said: “We regularly engage with the EU to ensure the rights of UK nationals living in the EU are upheld as agreed in the withdrawal agreement.”

The European Commission, which handles migration policy for the EU, told Reuters that cases where the absence of a family member providing care ⁠would force the elderly beneficiary of the Withdrawal Agreement to leave the host state were evaluated on merit.

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